Nervous Travelers Gifts

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Airplane Mode.

Injured backpacker.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

Ryanair refunds

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

Scared as Hell Airlines.

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

How to deal with rude customers.

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

'Test Pilot.'

"I hate travel."

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

Intelligent Navigation Device...

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

Foot in ice cube.

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

'There's no way you'll ever get me up in one of those contraptions!'

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

"I tho tired."