Nervous Flyer Gifts

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

Scared of flying

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

Fasten Seatbelt

'Relax, dear, nothing ever happens when we go, 'fly now, pay later'.'

'Test Pilot.'

'There's no way you'll ever get me up in one of those contraptions!'

"Abuelita Zoraida arrives at the airport in 30 minutes! Now remember, as a family elder, she is set in her ways! She demands great respect!"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Dad, may I use the plane tonight?'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"You've got to help her ... she has developed a fear of flying."

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

Casual skydiving.

"Who wants to go first?"

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

Starting is the scariest part.

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"Look at thse plodders down there - what do they know of exhilaration?"

Giant fan blows away paper airplanes.

"So good to be out of that flying death trap."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

"Err...When I said straight over at the round-about..."