Nervous Ninja Gifts

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Nervous Oral Testing

That party went well.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Best Seller

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Never ending to do list

Work avalanche

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

"Better than Chekhov"

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

'I won't be in this afternoon because I don't have any clever ideas.'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"Sorry if I'm negative, but I'm operating on a need to no basis."

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

Be the grass...

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

"I bet you're glad you got out of politics to spend more time with your family."

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

Information War

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Ninja

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

Camp Games