Nervousness Ninja Gifts

Nervous Oral Testing

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Never ending to do list

Work avalanche

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

"Better than Chekhov"

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

"How can I think outside the box when you keep filling my inbox."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"Sorry if I'm negative, but I'm operating on a need to no basis."

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

Camp Games

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

Information War

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

'Your leaving certificate is a joke, your resume is ridiculous and your reputation scares me. You can start on Monday.'

"I bet you're glad you got out of politics to spend more time with your family."