Neck Pain Avoiders Gifts

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

The stock market sky is falling.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"First, do no ham."

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Hazard of texting

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

Worm running away from hook.

"I hate the wide screen, but it's good exercise for my neck."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

Free neck massages.

'Joe doesn't like the sun... he prefers the shade!'

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"

'I thought I gave you money to get your hair cut?'

"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."

"I've been down here 50 years, but you'd never know it. Staying out of the sun has kept my skin fresh, firm and wrinkle-free."

"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."

"No point going to sleep now."

'My dog ate my homework, so I couldn't study for the test. So, as his punishment, he'll be taking the test for me.'

Not yet started roamin'.

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

The National Monument to Chiropractors Specializing in Neck Pain

Damsel with Ear-Plugs

"...And as for your terrible elevator music...."

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

Tooth ache.

'You have got to be kidding.'