Needle Avoider Gifts

'You have got to be kidding.'

Tortoise hiding from acupuncturist.

"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Time for your pills.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

"Why are you hurting me? I didn't hurt you."

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"

Escaped Fish

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

Specimen of Mr Punch's Industrial Exhibition of 1850 (to be improved in 1851)

Ouch!

'I hate snakes.'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"He's afraid of needles..."

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'

Velcro sneaks.

"I hate needles!"

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

Tooth ache.

Damsel with Ear-Plugs

"...And as for your terrible elevator music...."

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

Man with needle in bum on his mobile "Yes, the nurse fainted"