Needle-phobic Patient Gifts

'Time for your pills.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'No no!! Not that one... The BIG one on the top shelf!!'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

Acupuncture clinic

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"Look, Papi...you need to take care of yourself. You don't have to be macho and proud and scared of being weak!"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Acupressure Gauge

'You and your aversion to needles!'

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'

Acupuncture darts.

"Why are you hurting me? I didn't hurt you."

'On the plus side, the unbelievable pain following the injection is comparatively short-lived.'

'And a couple more should relieve your back-pain Sir...'

'Doctor, do you realize that's the third porcupine this week to faint at the sight of a needle?'

Porcupine Acupuncture

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

'Enough acupuncture - get me a couple of aspirin.'

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"

Man in hospital hitting golf balls into a bedpan.

'I don't like needles: You'll catch me if I faint, won't you doc?'

Knitting ball

"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."

"Yesterday it was the other side, but today the side effect is this side..."