Neck Pain Veteran Gifts

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

Lumbar support animal

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

"Remember, Nanook, no kissing for a couple of days."

"Too hard?"

Hazard of texting

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

"I hate the wide screen, but it's good exercise for my neck."

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

'This is going to be a level three.'

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

Free neck massages.

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

'Hey! Suddenly, my back feels way better! Weird...'

"Relax! That first crack is just me getting past your deductible."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Next time, try warming up with a little idle speculation before jumping to a conclusion."

'I thought I gave you money to get your hair cut?'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Pardon my back.'

'Try to relax.'