Neck Pain Navigator Gifts

The National Monument to Chiropractors Specializing in Neck Pain

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Hospital Departments

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

Snooze Cruise

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

Napquest

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

'I never know which side to start on.'

Doctor's Office. I don't know which I hate more to hear him say --- "Learn to live with it" or "Learn to live without it."

'You can visit your mum in Ward C from 2 am until 3, Ward D from 3 until 5 am then it'll be Ward C until 6 and the corridor after that...'

"NOTHING has changed from your last visit here? What do you people do?"