Nursing Navigator Gifts

'I never know which side to start on.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Bad for you but to die for

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

A Preschool of Fish

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Hospital Departments

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Shrink

Babies

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

"Cardiac day patients?"

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

Medicare: More is Better!

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

Pre-School Child Center - Computer LiterateNon-Computer Literate.

Cr�che Seige

'Have you been eating right?'

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."