Healthcare Navigator Gifts

'Medicare part C provides care for the headaches caused by parts A, B and D.'

'I've got so many aches and pains that a new one would have to wait a week before I could feel it.'

"By your own admission, Bennett, you have twelve children. I'm afraid our insurance company defines that as a preexisting condition."

"Well, you can get a second opinion, but that's going to really hurt my feelings!"

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

"Hmm, so the foot guy sent you here. I'm strictly a knee-and-upper-shin guy – you're going to have to see a lower-shin-upper-ankle guy."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"Just find something covered by my HMO..."

"I can't remove this charge from our electronic billing, so will you agree to have the prenatal check up?"

"Although it may be a simple procedure, keep in mind that it comes with the risk of being billed for a major operation."

"It hurts when I do this Doctor"

Medicare tries to control the shark: " I feel a slight shift taking place."

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

Medicare: More is Better!

Insurance man taking money from a patient at the doctors

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'

'You have primary insurance and secondary insurance. I like that in a patient.'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'This Obamacare website is so frustrating! I'm used to insurance companies rejecting us immediately.'

'Let's see... 'Accidents... Alligators... Apes... Avalanches...' -- Sorry, sir. There's nothing in your policy about 'Arrows.''

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

Billing office

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

'I see a bright future. You will get on to the Obamacare website soon, have your pre-existing conditions covered, with no lifetime caps.'

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

"I miss the good old days."

"NOTHING has changed from your last visit here? What do you people do?"

Time to re-evaluate your health care insurance plans.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

'Let me explain our insurance options for the uninsurable ... '

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'You can visit your mum in Ward C from 2 am until 3, Ward D from 3 until 5 am then it'll be Ward C until 6 and the corridor after that...'

Since his girlfriend did not have insurance, Kyle tried to smuggle her in for treatment through his HMO.