Pain Avoider Gifts

Tooth ache.

'They made it like that so the kids wouldn't bother you.'

The stock market sky is falling.

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'Your tooth still sensitive to hot liquids my dear?'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

Tred carefully mill.

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

The new Anti-Toothpain app: 'Fee? It workf!'

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

"We feel your pain".

'Oh, please no, ma'am! I couldn't stand the stress of success!'

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"

Next time youwant to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper!

'Ooh, that's better!'

"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."

'Enough acupuncture - get me a couple of aspirin.'

'I said, any other tips on avoiding stress?'

With a few changes to his office environment, Dr. Bolsta made chiropractic care more kid-friendly.

You've been late to work two days in a row. Overslept again. I'm taking Slumberesta for my insomnia. Doctor's orders. Your doctor didn't order you to be late for work! Easy. Can't deal with stress. Doctor's orders. Your insurance cover maulings?

'Why do they make asprin so blindingly white.'

"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."

Masochists' Investment Club - today's topic: 'no pain, no gain'.