Pain Prevention Warrior Gifts

Lumbar support animal

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"Too hard?"

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

'Next time you want to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

'He threw his back out trying to lift an embargo.'

'Miss Milligan, cancel all my appointments.' (Chriopractor).

Tooth ache.

'I had it custom-made, it's very comfortable...'

The National Monument to Chiropractors Specializing in Neck Pain

The Fauci on my shoulder