Pain Prevention Warrior Gifts

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

Lumbar support animal

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Too hard?"

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

Before I can get back to work, I have to get my back to work!

'Next time you want to demonstrate Ronaldo's flying overhead kick to your nephew...use a pen and paper.'

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

"And you're sure an adjustable bed will help with the sharp pains in my back?"

'Thanks for changing the tire, Mr. Cromwell. Bob and I both have back problems.'

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'He threw his back out trying to lift an embargo.'

'Miss Milligan, cancel all my appointments.' (Chriopractor).

Tooth ache.

The Fauci on my shoulder

'I had it custom-made, it's very comfortable...'