Chronic Pain Warrior Gifts

Back pain.

The frustration of a nagging injury.

The National Monument to Chiropractors Specializing in Neck Pain

"I have no idea what is wrong with you, but this medicinal cannabis should put a spring in your step."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

The Cougher

Lumbar support animal

"I told him he should have trained more."

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

"So what brings you in today?"

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

"Yeah, it's work-related, Doc...I bent over backwards trying to please my boss!"

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

"Too hard?"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

"My back hurts when I sit."

National Asthma Society Parade

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

"Argh! It's going to rain! My arthritis!"

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.