Panic Avoider Gifts

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

The stock market sky is falling.

Fight or Flight

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

Big bumpers.

D.I.Y ladder

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

Horses are nervous animals. . .

Danger Signs.

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

'Is there an elvis in the building?!'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Oh, please no, ma'am! I couldn't stand the stress of success!'

'Financial advice. Don't panic.'

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

'I want to see a doctor who understands that I don't want to see him.'

'I said, any other tips on avoiding stress?'

"When he said he wanted to avoid airport chaos I thought he meant leaving earlier!"

You've been late to work two days in a row. Overslept again. I'm taking Slumberesta for my insomnia. Doctor's orders. Your doctor didn't order you to be late for work! Easy. Can't deal with stress. Doctor's orders. Your insurance cover maulings?

'Maybe he doesn't want to know what's going on in the world.'

'Update on the new deadline! 8 hours is the new 2 weeks!'