Apocalypse Avoider Gifts

Technology Destroys Another Industry

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

"What the hell happened to this town?"

The stock market sky is falling.

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"I hear post apocalyptic trilogies are all the rage again."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"Damn. Totally mis-read that."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

doom.com

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

The Future

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

New York Gondolier

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

"The season finale of the world is near."

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'