Neck Exercise Novice Gifts

"I hate the wide screen, but it's good exercise for my neck."

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

Why giraffes hate winter

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

Hazard of texting

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

'Your first lesson is free.'

Free neck massages.

'Hereafter you sew your own buttons on your suits of armor. This is the tenth needle I've ruined tonight.'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

'Be sexy! Wear a tie'

'I thought I gave you money to get your hair cut?'

Lazy man reading a fitness book.

V-Neck painter.

"And I just found out I've been sitting backwards on the Ab Cruncher for months!"

"Now, Baldo, don't let your temper get the best of you. Do what I do. Sit in a comfortable chair and count to 100."

'So far, I've cleared my mind of everything except Angelina Jolie.'

Getting in shape (or not)

'I've decided that I'm going to get more exercise. Could you get my barbells for me?'

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

Notice the strong, long line...notice the hook!