Pork Avoider Gifts

"First, do no ham."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Jurassic Pork

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

*=Hotdog

Sawdust.

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

Pig Cheese

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

"What would I have to do to be sent to my room without just the Brussels sprouts?"

"He's being bred for Hawaiian pizza!"

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

Tred carefully mill.

Eat your vegetables

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

"Mom, bear and I discussed it, and we decided that neither of us wants broccoli anymore, okay?"

"We have a lot in common. We both hate homework, vegetables, bedtime, chores, long car trips. . ."

"Hog Hell"

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."