Pork Fan Gifts

Back Alley Bacon

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Jurassic Pork

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

Cupid misses his shot.

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'Mom, where does bacon come from?'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

God perfects his turkey design.

Pig Cheese

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

Cats watch mice in a theatre

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

"He's being bred for Hawaiian pizza!"

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

' 'cock-a-doodle-doo' out of whack!'

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune