Popcorn Fan Gifts

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

A cleaner in a cinema

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The Runaway Horse

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Support group for sheep.

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"