Seafood Avoider Gifts

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Your lobster was off!

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"How's the salmon?"

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

A man and baby wearing bibs

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

Platter confusion.

'Catching flying fish...'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."