Seafood Skeptics Gifts

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

Smelly fish.

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

Edna, I fear our love doesn't have a future... My parents would eat you!

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

'Order one with anchovies -- I've never seen a fish!'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

Seaside Aquarium

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

"Nothing that's overfished, poached or farmed? How about some seaweed?"

Human Fingers: The Fish World's version of Fish Fingers.

'People for the Ethical Treatment of Fish'

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

"Yes, it is beautiful, but will it serve eight?"

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'Well I can assure you sir, the fish was fresh when the menu was printed last tuesday.'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"Gee, I can even remember back to when you could eat them."

"I regret that I have but one life to lose for some fat capitalist!"

'I detest sea food.'

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"Son, the reason you're not happy like me is because your real father was an oyster.'

"Simply put, our 'Nostalgia Special' is the 'Catch' of yesterday."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"First the good news, there's no longer any point in you eating broccoli."

'No swordfish were harmed in the catching of our tuna, and no tuna were harmed in the catching of our swordfish.'

'They're not that intelligent.'

"Absolutely no dolphins were harmed in our catch of the tuna. Also, no tuna were harmed in the catch of the cod, no cod were harmed in our catch of the flounder..."

'Yechh, this tastes fishy.' - 'It's fish.'