Food Skeptics Gifts

Pink Slime Burger

"I saw this video where a half eater American looks exactly the same after being left out for 6 months."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Please don't kill me."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Gullib-Os

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"I don't usually like green food, but that looks pretty good."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'