Noise Avoider Gifts

"I'd like $50 worth of total silence, please."

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"You know your father...anything for a quiet life"

When the local shopping centre started playing Christmas music, Arthur spotted a gap in the market...

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him

Quiet Zone

"...And as for your terrible elevator music...."

Damsel with Ear-Plugs

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

At the rock concert...

Noise Pollution

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Music for car stereos

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Confucius say: shut up.

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"Apparently, my self-driving car doesn't like driving in the snow, because it took it upon itself to drive 1,200 miles to somewhere warm while I wasn't paying attention."

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

'I know I never play it. I only borrow it from next door to stop him playing the damn thing!'

Has Your Cat Always Had Such a Loud Purr...?

You are what you collect.

"God...I hate elevator music."

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

"Okay! Okay! I'll do something to stop the barking!"

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"