Noise Evader Gifts

"When I start my car, it makes this terrible noise."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

At the rock concert...

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Noise Pollution

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Music for car stereos

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

Confucius say: shut up.

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

Election Cancelling Headphones

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

"Would passengers sitting in the Quiet Zone please...Shut the F**K UP!"

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

Man contemplates breaking an organ grinder's instrument whilst he is drinking

Nature Magnified

You are what you collect.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

Has Your Cat Always Had Such a Loud Purr...?

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

"It was heaven before this."

"God...I hate elevator music."

"He's not good with change!"

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'