Noise Escapist Gifts

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

Audio Books

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Noisy energy?

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

"How to deal with weeds."

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"Can you hit the mute button on him? I'm trying to watch TV."

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

'Trust me, using this cheap perfume to mask our scents is going to confuse the hounds...'

Nature Magnified

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

"How would you feel about a little place in the city, just to get away from all the hunting and gathering?"

"No man is an island, but I come pretty damn close."

"One of my suppliers is letting me use his cabin for a few days."

Daydreaming to other people's music on the train,

"The tide is out at the moment so here is some music while you are waiting..."

Mass Piano Instruction in Communal Home