Audio Escapist Gifts

Audio Books

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

Cyber Dream

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

Hot Towel Web Service

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

Security at the Smaller Airports

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

"Not again!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Houdini 2019

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

Hiding From Social Media

"Please excuse my husband his media bubble just burst."

Message in a bottle.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."