Audio Escapist Prints

Audio Books

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

Cyber Dream

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Hot Towel Web Service

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

"Not again!"

Security at the Smaller Airports

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Houdini 2019

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

Message in a bottle.

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

"Please excuse my husband his media bubble just burst."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

Hiding From Social Media