Musical Escapist Gifts

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

Daydreaming to other people's music on the train,

Piano Stocks.

"The tide is out at the moment so here is some music while you are waiting..."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Audio Books

Tree house.

Cake Escape

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

Message in a bottle.

"With this invention...I can finally go to a time where everyday nuisances have been completely eradicated!"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

American Idle

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Free Thinking.

Ramblers Association

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

Virtual Reality Check

Little girl playing pirates with her dog.

"Above the ceiling is plenty of duct space, a perfect hideout for when the in-laws visit."

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

ARchie Smith cartoonist