Cultural Escapist Gifts

'I'll look, sir, but I'm not sure there IS any place where they've never heard of America.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Tree house.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'See you in two weeks!'

Rising Gas Prices

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Desert Mirage

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

'Ready or Not here I come.'

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

American Idle

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"Realism! . . . Realism!"

Message in a bottle.

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

Hiding From Social Media

Free Thinking.

Ramblers Association

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"You have to ask yourself, is it even worth finding the cheese anymore!"

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'