Entertainment Escapist Gifts

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

American Idle

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Rising Gas Prices

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'Elaine, take a ditty.'

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

"I won't lie to you: It was quite an ordeal to move the upright piano in..."

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

External Revenue Service

Message in a bottle.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'Joyce, you've gotta see this! This 3-D large screen HD TV is amazing!'

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

Ramblers Association

A people-meter family out enjoying the calm night breezes while claiming to be inside enjoying a rerun of 'Falcon Crest.'"

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"We seem to get just the one channel."

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Virtual Reality Check

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Little girl playing pirates with her dog.

'Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators for a while.'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."