Cinema Escapist Gifts

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

"That film broke all records for keeping that key 16 to 39 year old demographic distracted from reality."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Not again!"

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"I think my life would have been played better set against a Roaring Twenties or Civil War background."

American Idle

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

Hiding From Social Media

Bleh! That dreaded time of year had come around again. Everyone says it's torture. Prepare for the Apocalypse. Ok, class. Together we will all somehow survive

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

A giveaway tan line...

Ramblers Association

A people-meter family out enjoying the calm night breezes while claiming to be inside enjoying a rerun of 'Falcon Crest.'"

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"