Essay Escapist Gifts

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

Bleh! That dreaded time of year had come around again. Everyone says it's torture. Prepare for the Apocalypse. Ok, class. Together we will all somehow survive

"Your essay on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your sister's"

Ethics exam cheater.

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Screen Time vs Book Time

Nervous Oral Testing

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Man sunbathing on the beach.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"Don't worry, Howard. The big questions are multiple choice."

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

Reading room

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book