Emotional Escapist Gifts

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"Drinking to forget somebody, are we Bill?"

Kissing Hands

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"I'm your exit strategy."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'When you take a vacation to get away, you really get away!'

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

A woman reads a romance novel.

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

"Too bad we only see each other when we're hungry! I know! Let's go on a date, a real date!"

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

Husband building a wall around his wife on the beach.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'Oh dear... it's going to be a very long year and a day...'

'Where are all these alien abductors when you need them?'

Message in a bottle.