Emotional Escapist Gifts

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"Drinking to forget somebody, are we Bill?"

Kissing Hands

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"I'm your exit strategy."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

'When you take a vacation to get away, you really get away!'

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

A woman reads a romance novel.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

'There she is, dreaming about Zorro again.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

'Where are all these alien abductors when you need them?'

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, safe sex and wine.'

'Oh dear... it's going to be a very long year and a day...'

Bleh! That dreaded time of year had come around again. Everyone says it's torture. Prepare for the Apocalypse. Ok, class. Together we will all somehow survive

"You're the one who's always saying you want to get away from it all."

"Too bad we only see each other when we're hungry! I know! Let's go on a date, a real date!"