Engagement Escapist Gifts

'I'll tell you what, Rodney -- Let's don't and say we did.'

"Genuine? Of course it's genuine...zirconia."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

A woman reads a romance novel.

'There she is, dreaming about Zorro again.'