Marital Escapist Gifts

"How's the divorce going?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

A woman reads a romance novel.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Kissing Hands

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

"Too bad we only see each other when we're hungry! I know! Let's go on a date, a real date!"