Domestic Escapist Gifts

'Here's $40. Stick your head in the shrubs and act like you're weeding. If my wife says anything to you, just grunt knowingly.'

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Last Chance For Reality

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

Man entering shed with beer: ?OK Son ? tell your Mum I?ve gone on a mission to Mars and I could be some time! ?

Zoo Employees

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Message in a bottle.

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

"And this brings to a conclusion, thank goodness, our broadcast day."

Dangerous tax audits.

Free Thinking.

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

'Sounds way too complicated, let's phone for a take away.'

'I never wanted a dishwasher. I find the best place to get some peace from my teenagers is the kitchen when the sink is full of dirty dishes.'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

Don Quixote

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

Virtual Reality Check

Liking the Exit.

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.