Home Escapist Gifts

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

"Ahhh... close enough."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'God knows what he gets up to in there all day.'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

"How to deal with weeds."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man entering shed with beer: ?OK Son ? tell your Mum I?ve gone on a mission to Mars and I could be some time! ?

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'Just how much time do you intend spending in this new tool shed of yours?'

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

'Trust me, using this cheap perfume to mask our scents is going to confuse the hounds...'

Message in a bottle.

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

No man is an island ??" it just looks that way.

"How would you feel about a little place in the city, just to get away from all the hunting and gathering?"

Yet another family that decided to drop everything and follow The Grateful Dead around for a while.

"No man is an island, but I come pretty damn close."

'Tell me if this hurts.'