Bathroom Escapist Gifts

He lay submerged, breathing through a straw - just to see how long it would take for anyone to notice.

Man funneling the wide spray from his shower

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Audio Books

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

Clock watcher

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

A usual day.

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

Do not resuscitate.

"You're in cubicle 1,962. If you get lost in there, I'll send a drone in to guide you."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"I was running through the hallways and forgot to watch out for the low-hanging fruit."

Politician back home

'This is the part of the rat race that I don't challenge.'