Bedroom Escapist Gifts

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

Clock watcher

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

'I've got a board meeting!'

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

"Do you mind?"

A usual day.

Politician back home

"You're in cubicle 1,962. If you get lost in there, I'll send a drone in to guide you."