Garden Escapist Gifts

'It never fails. As soon as I get in the bath, someone's at the door.'

"I'm letting it lie fallow this year."

'God knows what he gets up to in there all day.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Ice fisher.

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Crowded Ice Fishing

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Fish swimming by fishermen's feet - 'This looks like a safe place.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

Man fishing while aliens invade.

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'You said you were going to put gas in the RV, and then come right back. You've been gone for a year. Care to explain?'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"How to deal with weeds."

The Wet Fly Man is a more active creature.

City Dog - 'Big trouble - haven't seen a fire hydrant in hours!'

'Come back and get me about noon.'

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

'I loved the great outdoors too, however in 2006, I got hooked on tranquilizer darts and here I am!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'You're gonna build a 'man cave' over younder in the forest..? Is that what you're saying Mr Adams??'

Man skis through Tree.

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'