Wedding Escapist Gifts

"The Judge gave me a choice - marry his daughter or go to jail. You're looking at a happy man."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

' Well..She did it to me again.'

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

A woman reads a romance novel.

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"