Professional Escapist Gifts

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

' Well..She did it to me again.'

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

"Do you ever have days when you just don't feel like designing jewelry?"

'I thought you were going to build a raft with that driftwood!'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

'How's the executive training program, going?'

A giveaway tan line...

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