Event Escapist Gifts

"I don't care about water - just get me the hell away from Burning Man."

Ethics exam cheater.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Nervous Oral Testing

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Rising Gas Prices

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"Don't worry, Howard. The big questions are multiple choice."

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"Does school really help people with real life?"

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"Not again!"