Relationship Escapist Gifts

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"Let's pretend we're divorced for the day."

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

A woman reads a romance novel.

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

Houdini 2019