Adulting Escapist Gifts

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Tree house.

Second lifeReal life.

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

The income gap is widening into a massive divide. Instability will follow. I'm not pleading for the middle class, I'm pleading for our future. House of Java .net Cybercafe. We can't have only rich and poor, for that was goes serfdom, instability, and eventually, collapse through inevitable revolution from below. Are you following what I'm saying? Are you listening? Not just listening. I'm listening while also playing Angry Birds. I've got no chance here, do I? Me either. The higher levels are br

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

American Idle

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

A giveaway tan line...

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name