Teenage Escapist Gifts

Playing The Youth Card

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

Anywhere but here

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Back to school anchor

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

American Idle

'Paint balls? Joey, they're throwing at us everything that they have.'

A giveaway tan line...

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

"We seem to get just the one channel."