Childhood Escapist Gifts

Kid with dog pool toy reads sign at swimming pool saying 'No dogs allowed'.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

'I pretended to be religious to get a place at this convent.'

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

As I understand it, if the ancient Greeks had had television to watch and video games to play, we wouldn't be stuck with all this stupid geometry.

Kissing Hands

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Back to school anchor

'I won't be at school anymore, my head is full.'

Mom? Any chance you could take the kids to your friend's lake cabin? Trying to get them out of your house? Roger. I want to put the vacate" back in vacation.

Message in a bottle.

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

Teacher's Lounge

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

American Idle