Childhood Escapadist Gifts

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Man chases after his skis.

Houdini's infancy.

Virtual Lap Dancing

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

'We've been out here for hours. I don't think he's going to come to life, dance and sing with us.'

Last day of school.

"Running away is hard, when you can't cross the street!"

"I'll probably never be able to cast knowing glances."

"Now that the kids are in jail, maybe we can take the vacation we always wanted."

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

"Why don't you take up a sport,son-like long distance running-away from home...?"

Urine sample

"Your babysitter just rang, she wants to know where you keep your condoms?"

Boy balancing a baby on his feet

"Nope, you owe the government absolutely nothing. It's true what they say...these are the most wonderful times of your life."

'Sounds like all the kids are already here for the labor day picnic... I think I'll wait in the car.'

'Mom, Jason is making negative robocalls about me!'

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

Next year Timmy gets socks for his birthday

Kid with dog pool toy reads sign at swimming pool saying 'No dogs allowed'.

'Do you like llamas? . . . Then good news. We're going to South America. . . we got our income tax form and we have no way of paying it.'

"Next time you're baking a cake, turn the mixer off before allowing him to lick it."

Time for Yourself.

"Oh, we don't worry about the kids moving back in with us. We didn't leave a forwarding address."

Writing A Book Report.

Caution: Perspective malfunction ahead

'We've got stop seeing each other - my wife is getting suspicious!'

"My education was a nightmare! Bullying, time-outs, bickery and tipsy-teachers!"

Vending machine that supplies homework answers.