Commitment Escapist Gifts

"Don't feel bad if you wanna bail!"

Runaway bride on a treadmill.

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

Write "Brenda' but use disappearing ink

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Kissing Hands

"Not again!"

'Okay, ready to begin the workout? And... finished. Good job!'

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

Houdini 2019

'You are in a deep, deep sleep, when you awaken you will feel sweaty and exhausted...'

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

Message in a bottle.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"Your essay on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your sister's"

'I brought this in so we can cut down the insurance company's phone tree.'

Virtual Reality Check

"You have to ask yourself, is it even worth finding the cheese anymore!"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"